A lot has changed in the past few months. Even more is still changing. We are no longer moving our place of residence and this office. (At least not any time in the near future.) A great deal has gone on behind the scenes.
One thing remains constant. My health is still considerably poor. We are doing our best to fix this. Although, I’m not too sure what’s in the cards for me.
We decided to renew CardCastles for another year anyway. Somehow, I still have this strange optimism despite having tea with the reaper lately. There’s so much more to tell you, but we’re going to have to save that for a Daydreams Diary. For now, let’s all just try to look towards brighter days together.
What gives you hope?
Have a peaceful Sunday
I am seriously debating closing down CardCastles and the larger umbrella responsible for it (Snapping Turtle) for good.
This is not for lack of trying, let me stress.
March has forever been unkind to me throughout my entire life. You may have even read that here before. I don’t have to tell you the following for privacy reasons, but I’m going to. Holding it in is making me even sicker than I already am.
My sister had her daughter (my niece) taken away from her by her ex. There’s a whole lot more to that, but that is just tier one of a set of things that are rapidly pushing me over the edge.
The tax return we were so heavily depending on (to move out of this hellhole) has been seized for student loan debt. All of it.
To top it all off, I just recently discovered my uncle who was once my legal guardian upon my grandmother’s passing, went behind my back while I was hospitalized back in 2006 and somehow illegally obtained “power of attorney” over me. What that basically translates to is I have no rights. He can sign things for me, obtain any money that comes to me. Fraudulently fill out forms in my name, etc etc. & He’ll be protected from any prosecution because, well, Power of Attorney.
Fighting any of this issues in court are near impossible for me since I am floating just above the national poverty line.
I am defeated. Depression has taken a strangle hold over me. & I am not sure if I can keep fighting anymore. The sickness I’ve been suffering from is spreading.
To keep this place standing is starting to feel like a crushing burden. I’m still undecided, but I figured I’d try to keep those of you that care in the loop. There are knots in my stomach and I can’t keep food down.
I hope this all isn’t a complete waste. I’ve worked so hard to get here.
I really love a lot of you and I’m sorry to unload all of this depressing muck on you. Pray/chant/will things for us. We will certainly need it in the months ahead.
Plans are just that—plans, and nothing solid.
Though I’m fond of the act of mapping out the road ahead, and trying to see a bit into the future.
There were a good number of designs I had ready last week before our power here cut out during a very nasty storm. I canned more than half of them.
That is unlike me since I try to improve my mistakes before tossing something. Though lately, my heart has been considerably taken out of things. My personal life has been spilling over into my work life in ways that are beyond my control.
My health is still an ongoing, unpredictable issue.
None of that stops things here. I still have a growing business to run and a shrinking community to amuse. Despite that, the people that have always been loyal to me continue to do so. I am amazed by them. A lot of them are artists too, in some form or another, and they have their own set of trials and tribulations to go through yet they still find time to support me—to support us. This is a family business after all.
I plan on introducing you to a new staff before the end of this year, but plans are just that—plans.
One thing I’ve learned in life is anything can change in a matter of seconds. Some things are just beyond our control.
In the face of it all, I will never stop fighting.
There are a few new sets of florals I’ve got set up that will be shown here throughout the upcoming spring season. Road blocks have certainly been built up in my way since the start of this year. Last week was no different. Massive power outages in my region restricted internet access for a short while. Some electricity came back on, but then our connections became unstable. The result was a short closing of the site & its services.
Maybe it was the florals I’m working on, or the power outages that got me thinking about all things nature. Though I’d like to think it is the strong women that remain ever-so-present in my life through trial & triumph—sickness and superpowers.
This one is for all of the goddesses in my life that keep manifesting otherwordly beauty despite whatever negativity tries to blanket you and smother your blinding light.
Have a forceful Sunday!