This is the 1st time one of my #B4Peace entries has been late. My apologies go out to Kozo and the rest of you for the lack of punctuality. I have been extremely ill the last few days due to catching a nasty flu while caring for my son (who has also been ill). I hope the following will make up for it.
During the month of February we were asked deal with any pent up resentment, shame, or anger towards a particular family member. I’m going to go there but, I ask that you respect my need to keep that family member anonymous.
I wish that you could see me; I mean truly see me sometimes. You tend to make a judgment call with the best of intentions but, you fail to realize that your words hurt. Even after many others (including professionals) have told you that you need to change your approach, you tend to use words and phrases that sting.
You know that I am sensitive – you’ve known this the entire span of my life so far. All that I ask is that if you have advice to offer – try to be mindful of my feelings.
When I go to you for help, it’s not to be a burden on you. Sometimes, I simply have nowhere else to turn. My parents are gone. This is a pain you and I know all too well. So, when I come to you, try to imagine that I’m looking for you to fill that space that my parents left. I know that I’m a grown woman. You need not remind me. Still, I am somewhat young. I lack the guidance that most people take for granted.
I love you regardless of your flaws. I am a friend to you. Although there are times you’ve caused me great pain, there are also times you’ve brought me tremendous joy. I’m glad you were there when I graduated, when so many others weren’t.
You need to know when I respond undesirably, it’s because something you said hurt. I don’t hate you. I never have. Even when I was at my worst and you couldn’t stomach me, I still loved you. I was simply broken.
Someday I may read this to you, or maybe not. Maybe it will just fade with me when I go, but somehow, I know it will reach you.
Let go of it all, please, because I have, and it’s freeing. Don’t let it all tie you down. You deserve better.
This was my entry for the Monthly Peace Challenge: We Are Family
Other Brave Souls: