Daydreams Diary: Flames

So, I’ve been sick for over a week.

Fever chills. Coughing. Bones felt like thin glass.

Furious
© 2017
Snapping Turtle Arts

I’ve been meaning to catch you all up on things for a while w/ a video diary or something, and yet things keep happening. Every time I sit down to work, or give you a little update here, another something pops up.

Flash forward to today. I finally start to gain some of my strength back. I’m still on the mend, but I finally have the first burst of energy I’ve had in over a week.

I come inside after getting my son, do my household duties, promptly sit down, then open up my folders for work. I’ve got an important project for Matticus & Revis that’s well over the deadline time frame. (Matt & Revis continue to be patient with me & my crazy life and I love them for it.) There’s another something I’m planning with my significant other. Last but most certainly not least, there’s some concept sketches I have to get out to three of my musician friends.

 

The phone starts chirping away.

I ignore it as best as I can, but in the back of my mind it must be urgent.



 

 



[to be continued]

 

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Daydreams Diary: Cold Air

—• Cold Air •—

[ October 12th, 2017 9:47PM ]

I wanted to explain things to you.

It’s been so long.

There’s so much to explain.

I wanted to write about all the crap going on today.

I was going to call it “The Silencing of Rose McGowan” and it would’ve been great.

But I don’t have a lot of that edgy shit in me right now. & Well, frankly, you don’t care anyway.

I’ve been told to

keep the politics out of it.”

Hell, that was even my rule here once. Maybe that’s where I fucked up.

I need to drop the “Daydreams” because I’ve been “out of character” for over two years now.

But I still don’t feel 100% comfortable putting my name out there.

Maybe I should.

My head is a mess.

My health is dwindling.

I want to turn it all around but I am losing the fight.

I am losing my will to hold on.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful.

It’s that I was born with a cursed body.

And a cursed mind.

I may be of the witchy sort,

but I’m not one to undo hexes.

After all, the one that set that in motion had a reason and felt justified at the time.

No, I’d rather see how this plays out.

So let me be.

I’ll do just fine.

Just let me curl up

with this rott

in my mind.


[ September 17th, 2017 ]

—• Flashes •—

 

You wrote me today.

It was the first time in a while and it made me smile.

Even if just for a speck of reality.

 

I stumbled upon them again today.

This is the second time they were connected to someone in my network.

A new potential client or friend that I again had to let go in fear of them following the trail.

Why do I still care?

Do they even still think about me?

Am I still considered “a threat”?

I highly doubt it when he’s got 82,000 following and I’m well, me.

 

My patience was tested again today.

This was the third time in a few short weeks.

You accused my friend of baiting when he simply fought to be heard.

Why do you seek to silence us?

Will muting the messenger really snuff out the message?

Perhaps it be your guilty conscience that’s speaking louder than the both of us.

The weight of your judgement through trying times speaks volumes of your character.


[ August 30th, 2017 ]

—• Tormentors •—

Time is always uncertain.

Your words don’t stick.

They fade.

You think you’re important.

You’re not.

“Shade, shade, shade.”

You’re damn right it’s shade.

My tongue is a blade.

You are empty

And I am afraid.

So let’s make a trade.

Shall we, Adelaide?

Let’s call a spade a spade and give up this masquerade

when you know it’s just me here

and the bill must be paid.

Despite your shiny appearance,

your pockets are frayed.

 

—Daydreams

Autumna, the Goddess of Fall

Autumna
Autumna
Autumna

Good morning, dreamers. Meet Autumna.

She is my newest creation. This is her first appearance and she’s a little shy. Be kind to her, she’s quiet but can be quite fierce.

Autumna was dreamt up in hopes that she can summon the fall season, complete with fall temperatures. (Well, that and someone requested her.) Chances are this is not the last you’ll see of her. I’m going to be working her into my fall collection somehow.

I still feel lost not selling my art on a day to day basis, but I can get used to this private client thing.

Are any of you self-employed? Is it as liberating as I think it is?

Tales From Our First Crappy Apartment

Why Don’t You Just Leave?

We’ve been in our apartment now for three years. Some of the surprises we’ve dealt with are by no means new. Part of the disasters we shrug and laugh at, others put us on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The average friend or family member will ask us, “Why don’t you just leave?” and we reply that it’s easier said than done. We have a four year old son and need a two bedroom. Around here, that sort of luxury doesn’t come cheap. Not to mention, coming up with a security deposit for a new place, moving costs, and the entire headache that goes with it. We’re simply just not ready.

A few nights ago what seemed to be the last straw for us happened. There was about five inches of rain that fell in roughly a two hour time span. I kept checking the windows and every known crevasse for water. Something in me just knew it was going to come in.

“We’re Going to Need a Bigger Boat.”

The funny part is, we went through two massive hurricanes, and not a single drop of water entered our space. This time was different. This time the water neared so close to our windows I was anticipating them giving out and just letting the gigantic pools rush right in. Instead, much to our surprise, the damage was not noticed until the following day. My other half walked into our closet to hang something up and remarked to me that there was a sopping wet mark on our carpet in there. Slowly, that sopping wet stain became another, and another, until our closet was virtually filled with dirty water. It soaked the carpet and its padding underneath.

Our Saturday night was not spent laughing or watching a movie together. We didn’t go out and I didn’t get an early start on my work. Instead, we spent it ripping up the mildew and flood soaked carpet and padding that by now absolutely reeked.

Time Waits For No One

After an extremely rough week of other life headaches – this was the last thing we both needed. Rewind back to Saturday morning, when we first started speaking of doing all of this ripping up and cleaning. My neighbor upstairs also got a ton of water in her apartment. It’s anybody’s guess how. She’s on the middle floor after all. Still, as she was getting her entire carpeting replaced – the workers were banging so hard with hammers that they knocked our kitchen clock off the wall. It landed in the sink and broke. Although this may seem like something so small, I was livid. I was so angry, my initial reaction was to lose it but, I realized my son was watching. Even though he’s only four, he had such a look of concern on his face. He was concerned for his mother who was obviously a wreck. I just picked up our shattered clock that had much sentimental value, since it was the first little housewarming gift we bought ourselves – and then I let out a few tears.

Sometimes, you just need to melt down.

Moving On

Although our landlord has at least tried to show some care toward the situation, we remain worried that he is going to be cheap about replacing our small area of carpet. We may just end up following in our neighbor’s footsteps and having it done ourselves while deducting the costs out of the rent.

In the long run, this has been a learning experience. This ordeal is nobody’s fault. It was just Mother Nature being really pissed off. After all the other various issues we’ve had here, this was just one more stiff reminder – we need to move.

Word Garden

Springtime SunsetWell into our first Friday of the spring season…

I come sharing seeds.

~*Behold*~

The Word Garden

Today I had an interesting thought. If you have a website or blog, or generally anything you share online with the world – it’s alive.

 

Your readers, people who share your links, and generally anything you continuously update moves and breathes just like we do. Now, before you go to get a broom to bash your computer with… I don’t mean it’s going to literally jump up and run away from you. Stay with me.

Take for example, here on WordPress. Widgets can help make a blog come alive. Especially those like “Most Popular Posts & Pages” that constantly update based on your site’s statistics.

If you update your website, blog, gallery, social media often this helps keep it living and breathing. When users come to your site, if they have a place to communicate with you, think of them as your fellow gardeners. “Plant the seeds and they will grow”, etcetera. To maintain healthy soil, one must be in an ideal climate, have desirable soil to begin with, take decent care of it, and fertilize. This thought could be applied to the content you share as well. If we update regularly, keep our content fresh, build an audience…and learn how to keep them present and engaged, it shows. Then, we’ll have “watered our plants” so to speak.

There is no perfect formula for this. Every facet of media is different. No breed of art is the same. Although, much like the beginning of spring we could learn to take care of our flowers and see just how stunning they grow to become.