Daydreams Diary: Flames (Part II)

Daydreams in Otherworlds © 2017 Snapping Turtle Arts | cardcastlesinthesky.com

When I first started out, “Daydreams” was very much a character.

Now she’s just a cloak that I wear to protect whatever little shred of privacy I have left.

Flurry

I’ve all but exposed my whole ass for the world to see. Most are no longer comfortable with me since I’m not fluffing their egos while being kind and PC. But I’m getting off-track a bit. Let’s rewind to the first half of this before I go any further.

It chirped away. Not a pleasant bell like that of a teeny sparrow, but a manic, repetitive, screeching sound akin to metal on metal. I could almost sense what it was. In fact, in the corners of my subconscious, I think I very much did.

It was a person in my professional network, pointing me towards the mouthes of the displeased.

Displeasure—oh, how I’ve danced with you on and off these past few years.

Passive-aggressive in its nature, though point taken, it stood out like a festering sore on a beautiful face. It’s always a meme, right? No one can pull me aside and quietly voice their grievances. No, it has to be shouted to their entire following, but covertly enough that I can’t expose them. So much so that if I did, I’d look like the crazy one.

This is not the first time.

Or the second.

And I’m sure it won’t be the last.

Oh no, definitely not the last. But I’m not allowed to feel either.

“Oh stop whining.”

“What a butthurt bitch.”

“Quit playing the victim.”

I can hear it now. Loud as ever.

I’ve been more vocal on human rights issues and more. These are some things sadly deemed “political.”

“It ain’t cute, sweetheart.” They said I was shaming people. Well darlin’ sadly, in these times we’re living in, some things need to be shamed.

In the words of someone I’ve always deeply admired that’s been harmed by the very industry I work alongside:

Name it. Shame it. Call it out.Rose McGowan

So what’s wrong with me calling these issues out? Why does that all of a sudden make me not your cup of tea? What does my little insignificant voice have to do with your happiness? Why do you feel the need to tear me down in the process?

I thought I was well past letting bullshit like that penetrate me. But it has. Yet again. Especially when these [very public] bashings start to effect my income. (If I showed you the numbers, and how far they’ve traveled downward since about May 2017, you’d cry.)

I’m slowly moving past it. After all, the projects on my desk don’t give a shit who is ripping me apart and why. I had a little outburst over it, then soon after regretted it. It made me look like the asshole. It made me look immature. Though I come from a place where if you don’t respond, you’re a coward. Though in today’s world, if you do respond, you’re giving them attention and that also winds up making you look like an idiot.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Amidst all this madness I had a great conversation with one of my best friends whom I consider like adopted family. He spoke of similar situations with slimy people’s passive-aggressive nature and likened getting rid of such negativity to purging impurities with flames. What a beautiful comparison it was. Like the practice of burning sage—a cleansing ritual.

So I guess what I’m stabbing at in all this is, sometimes we need to purge the ugliness in our life with flames. And no, I’m not telling you to go set shit on fire. (Ya crazy asses.) I’m simply hinting at the notion that in order to truly move up and move on in our lives, sometimes we really need to cut things loose—set them ablaze. One thing I’m learning is it doesn’t matter how many times we feel we have to do this. If we feel the need, it’s probably for a reason. There’s probably another phase ready for us on the other side waiting.

So go burn some sage.

– Daydreams

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Daydreams Diary: Flames

So, I’ve been sick for over a week.

Fever chills. Coughing. Bones felt like thin glass.

Furious
© 2017
Snapping Turtle Arts

I’ve been meaning to catch you all up on things for a while w/ a video diary or something, and yet things keep happening. Every time I sit down to work, or give you a little update here, another something pops up.

Flash forward to today. I finally start to gain some of my strength back. I’m still on the mend, but I finally have the first burst of energy I’ve had in over a week.

I come inside after getting my son, do my household duties, promptly sit down, then open up my folders for work. I’ve got an important project for Matticus & Revis that’s well over the deadline time frame. (Matt & Revis continue to be patient with me & my crazy life and I love them for it.) There’s another something I’m planning with my significant other. Last but most certainly not least, there’s some concept sketches I have to get out to three of my musician friends.

 

The phone starts chirping away.

I ignore it as best as I can, but in the back of my mind it must be urgent.



 

 



[to be continued]

 

Sleepy Sundays: Golden

Golden
Golden

More than once here on CardCastles I’ve mentioned I believe heavily in keeping certain traditions alive in both the family and between friends. Although at times we can sometimes break tradition too—for our own reasons; however it may suit us.

There’s a lot of scars that haunt me deep inside, so much so that a friend and I used to joke over the phone “I’m fine!” becomes our theme song when we’re really—well, not.

This reminded me of a conversation a relative and I once had about strong women. We were cleaning the home of a very rich lady when it happened. She mentioned how we have the ability to turn not so much into much more and then some. The rich lady later became my second grade art teacher. She taught me up to 5th grade. Many of the techniques I still use in my work today, I learned from her.

This piece was inspired by these two strong women.

Who is an inspiring lady in your life?

Have a relaxing Sunday!

Sleepy Sundays: Daybreak Blizzard

Daybreak Blizzard
Daybreak Blizzard

A few weeks back there was snow in my area upon awakening in the morning. It was so early I was surprised to see snow going on while the sun was blasting through and steadily rising. The moment triggered off an old memory of a blizzard we had around my former area when I was a kid. The whole thing made me remember a song I first heard in a mall parking lot on a day where someone related to me punched me in the face. I was still somewhat young, not yet even in middle school. That song also made me think of a friend that shares its name & a great conversation we once had.

I’m using the design for greeting cards.

Sometimes you have to make the best out of something bad.

This is the song:

What makes your blood run cold? Do songs sometimes remind you of a day?

Have a peaceful and bright Sunday!

 

Sleepy Sundays: Coping

This Sunday I’m going to switch things up a bit since a main part of my work space is absent.

My laptop died/went quietly over the last week and I can’t put out any new art without my art software.  So, things around here will change a bit but I’ll save the rest of that for an uncoming update.

Since a lot of the people I love in my life, mostly close friends, have all been dealing with some form of loss—

I became inspired by them.

 

One lost a husband, another her true love, another a mother, another a brother, another, her father.

What I’ve taken from sudden loss of people we love is that somehow, someway eventually we find an inner strength to cope.

It’s like some strange inner force although only a small wave at first, pushes us along the way and tells us to keep going. Perhaps it has to do with the loved one themself, because we know in our hearts it may very well be what they wanted.

Those thoughts inspired this song. We’ll just count it as my art for today until I get all that back up & running again.

Has a friend recently inspired you? 

Have a peaceful Sunday!