The Lift

I can be impulsive.

Those of you that know me are no strangers to that.

A few days back I posted a “Shutdown Notice” of sorts closing down the site, my services, and all of the CardCastles social media accounts.

Wintery

I’ve never seen the Stats for this place spike so high. Oh, it certainly wasn’t because folks were concerned, I assure you. Not over 500+ in less than an hour. No, my close friends and core group know where to reach me & certainly wouldn’t spam the buttons here to do so.

That spike was likely due to people that cannot wait to see me fall on my face.

 

Although my health is indeed dwindling, I still have hope.

“The audacity of hope!” – President Barack Obama

Hope is something I tend to cling to with all of my being.
After all, I’ve always been like a cat with nine lives, and well, hell, I’m just not that easy to kill.

When I left, there was a guilt I felt because I’m trying to build this business even larger than it already is. My goal is to stack it into something that can eventually help my family and friends. Due to groundwork I laid out earlier this year, I’m already halfway there.

So, I can’t really just stop now. Even though I certainly felt the need to for a while.

Over the last few days, I got to see how much I really am appreciated, however silently, it’s still appreciation, and it matters. You filled my inboxes, my DMs, tweeted out little playlists for me. (One of my potential future moderators who you’ll soon hopefully be meeting shared all of this with me while I was away. We both had a good laugh about how I couldn’t leave this place if I tried.)

One last thing pushed me back here beside all that.

Wild Card

I thought of someone I care about who is going through my exact same struggle right now. She hasn’t stopped her magic for one minute. Even with all she has on her plate, and doing every bit of it while in pain, she hasn’t thrown in the towel. She’s still going.

That inspires me. That’s a strength I’ve only seen in one other place—through the women in my own family, particularly, my late mother.

So while I had my time to sit and sob

and even though the holidays are draining every last bit of sanity I have left

I

can’t

stop.

After all, I am a creator.

And

We’re all mad here.

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Daydreams Diary: Flames

So, I’ve been sick for over a week.

Fever chills. Coughing. Bones felt like thin glass.

Furious
© 2017
Snapping Turtle Arts

I’ve been meaning to catch you all up on things for a while w/ a video diary or something, and yet things keep happening. Every time I sit down to work, or give you a little update here, another something pops up.

Flash forward to today. I finally start to gain some of my strength back. I’m still on the mend, but I finally have the first burst of energy I’ve had in over a week.

I come inside after getting my son, do my household duties, promptly sit down, then open up my folders for work. I’ve got an important project for Matticus & Revis that’s well over the deadline time frame. (Matt & Revis continue to be patient with me & my crazy life and I love them for it.) There’s another something I’m planning with my significant other. Last but most certainly not least, there’s some concept sketches I have to get out to three of my musician friends.

 

The phone starts chirping away.

I ignore it as best as I can, but in the back of my mind it must be urgent.



 

 



[to be continued]

 

31 Nightmares 2016: The 29th

UFO Lights
UFO Lights

This animation is the visual representation of a fascinating nightmare had long ago. The lights did not frighten me. I only refer to it as a nightmare due to the people in it that were chasing me. The lights showed up at the right time, allowing me to escape.


This has been Day 29 of

31nightmares-logo_transparent

Sleepy Sundays: Hazy Sunset

Hazy Sunset
Hazy Sunset

This is my first piece in a while that won’t be going out to some client. The details are not a concept in progress or something for a future venture. This is simply a doodle, I guess we can call it. Something I can chalk up as “art therapy” when I look back.

I’m going through as much inner turmoil as that fiery sun. On the outside all may be shining bright. Inwards though, there is a marvelous storm raging.

This place has made a shift. I, have made a shift. You can all feel it.

Usually this is the part where I gather all my things and exit as gracefully as I can.

But I’m not the same person I was ten, or even five years ago.

Although things may seem unclear (hazy), or like they are coming to a close (sunset), I assure you, I’m not going anywhere. No matter how many demons try to suffocate me, I will keep going on.

These “Card Castles” are not fantasies and wishes in my head painted in the sky. They never were. These CardCastles are monuments to those lost, and things that must linger, long after I’m gone.

 

How do you manage stress?

Have a peaceful Sunday!

Sleepy Sundays: Metamorphosis

Sleepy Sundays

Metamorphosis

Title: A Barren CreationLand | Title: Colorful CreationLand
Click images to view larger versions.

One of the aspects of life I’ve always been a bit mowed over by is its series of constant changes. Some shifts are not always for the better. I’ve had conversations lately that all seemed to revolve around a bunch of us friends being in a state of the funks. Despite all that, a small trickle of light has began to show its face.

Yesterday, my dear sister in souls, the great Rarasaur was released from prison. By now, you’ve all heard the story. My heart is filled with a little more joy this morning. This art was inspired by not just Rara’s journey, but the journey of a section of the collective blogosphere, and the several small journeys different parts of my life have gone on recently. Some really challenging and disheartening things have happened to me in the past few months, but finally – things are starting to look up.

So I crafted up these two pieces this Sunday, instead of just one.

The “Barren” piece portrays life without nurturing, life with sadness seeping in and taking over.

The “Colorful” piece portrays the same land but with love injected back into it. With that love everything begins to grow again and flourish.

I combined the two and called them “Metamorphosis” obviously representing the change from barren to beautiful.

Have you undergone a major change recently?

Have a colorful Sunday!