Daydreams Diary: Cold Air

—• Cold Air •—

[ October 12th, 2017 9:47PM ]

I wanted to explain things to you.

It’s been so long.

There’s so much to explain.

I wanted to write about all the crap going on today.

I was going to call it “The Silencing of Rose McGowan” and it would’ve been great.

But I don’t have a lot of that edgy shit in me right now. & Well, frankly, you don’t care anyway.

I’ve been told to

keep the politics out of it.”

Hell, that was even my rule here once. Maybe that’s where I fucked up.

I need to drop the “Daydreams” because I’ve been “out of character” for over two years now.

But I still don’t feel 100% comfortable putting my name out there.

Maybe I should.

My head is a mess.

My health is dwindling.

I want to turn it all around but I am losing the fight.

I am losing my will to hold on.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful.

It’s that I was born with a cursed body.

And a cursed mind.

I may be of the witchy sort,

but I’m not one to undo hexes.

After all, the one that set that in motion had a reason and felt justified at the time.

No, I’d rather see how this plays out.

So let me be.

I’ll do just fine.

Just let me curl up

with this rott

in my mind.


[ September 17th, 2017 ]

—• Flashes •—

 

You wrote me today.

It was the first time in a while and it made me smile.

Even if just for a speck of reality.

 

I stumbled upon them again today.

This is the second time they were connected to someone in my network.

A new potential client or friend that I again had to let go in fear of them following the trail.

Why do I still care?

Do they even still think about me?

Am I still considered “a threat”?

I highly doubt it when he’s got 82,000 following and I’m well, me.

 

My patience was tested again today.

This was the third time in a few short weeks.

You accused my friend of baiting when he simply fought to be heard.

Why do you seek to silence us?

Will muting the messenger really snuff out the message?

Perhaps it be your guilty conscience that’s speaking louder than the both of us.

The weight of your judgement through trying times speaks volumes of your character.


[ August 30th, 2017 ]

—• Tormentors •—

Time is always uncertain.

Your words don’t stick.

They fade.

You think you’re important.

You’re not.

“Shade, shade, shade.”

You’re damn right it’s shade.

My tongue is a blade.

You are empty

And I am afraid.

So let’s make a trade.

Shall we, Adelaide?

Let’s call a spade a spade and give up this masquerade

when you know it’s just me here

and the bill must be paid.

Despite your shiny appearance,

your pockets are frayed.

 

—Daydreams

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