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Brain Drain

Have you ever had a phone conversation that left you feeling drained afterward?

Family can be a saving grace at times. Other times we want to keep them at a healthy distance. There is no such thing as the perfect family. The thought that one’s family could be without problems, disagreements, and the occasional fallout is an illusion. Whole fields of psychology are dedicated to repairing our damaged kinship alone.

My sister and I have always been close. It’s never mattered that we live in separate parts of the country. This was never our choice. It was a decision made for us long before we had say in anything. We remain in contact even though there was a large span of time when we each didn’t know where the other was living. We tracked each other down through social media and vowed we will not be separated like that again. Now, we stay in touch by phone, text, and email.Empty Chairs

Last week we had a conversation that has taken a toll on both of us. Somehow, it was the first step in healing us as individuals also. We’ve had many talks before that were very emotional. This one was different, though. This one was probably our most intense yet.

We spoke of how we’d been lied to by family members. Even though we had previously thought we had uncovered all of the truth that had been hidden from us as kids, there was still more. Both of us expressed anger about the fact that it seemed like it would never end. We’d be digging up more lies until we both perish from this Earth.

I love my sister dearly and would move mountains for her. I know she feels the same about me. Yet, sometimes when we have these types of conversations we feel so drained and wrecked afterwards we need a few days, weeks, or even months to recover before we can speak to each other again. We are not by any means mad at each other. It’s simply a reopening and re-stitching of old wounds that we do, so to speak that leaves us feeling raw and exposed.

Do you have a close bond with a family member? Have you ever felt drained after talking about “heavy” topics? Talk to me. You know I’m listening.

6 replies on “Brain Drain”

I was close to both of my sisters, who have both passed away (today is the 5th anniversary of my sister Beth’s passing). There is something about sisters. Deep conversations are deeper, laughs are too.


I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we were separated by no fault of our own. That and we’ve both felt “not wanted” by anyone for long periods. It stems back from our childhood. Plus, we have the loss of our mother in common.

I’m sorry to hear you’re not close with yours but, I totally understand. There are other family members I don’t even speak with. It’s sad but I know that’s how things just are sometimes.



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