I’ll Light a Candle for You

I struggled to write this post today. Every fiber of me didn’t want to, but I knew it’d be therapeutic.

Today is my mother’s birthday. I’d like to think of it and celebrate it as just that, but I can’t. I can’t because this is also the anniversary of her death. She passed away 8years ago today…on her 43rd birthday.

I’ve spent the last few years of my life being a more positive person, and trying to help others like me move past their grief & depression. Yet today, I can’t help but feel sad. I miss her. I miss her with every ounce of me. I miss the talks we had, I miss her goofiness, I miss her smile…I miss her.

Murphy's Oil Soap
If I see or smell this stuff, I’ll cry. She used to clean with it. We’d laugh and joke about how we loved the piney smell.

Certain objects and things that remind me of her still induce tears.

There are many artistic tributes I’ve done to her, but I struggle writing about her. That is the most personal for me. Somehow, I was able to today.

Maybe someday I’ll build the courage to write a book about her. She had a way of making most anyone feel better. Yet, when she was upset, so were you. If she cried, it would break your heart and become contagious. She was a wonderful person. She was my favorite person.

Shine

I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday.

(She always liked this song. Strangely enough, the morning she passed away, I came back from the hospital full of tears. After I cried my eyes out for hours, I turned on the radio and this song came on.)

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23 thoughts on “I’ll Light a Candle for You

  1. This song on the radio was not a coincidence dear, in this way your mother sent you a hello from herself and reminded that she is still with you and will always be!
    There are many ways our deceased loved ones communicate with us because a part of their soul, you may say it, always stays beside us.
    I had tears reading this post and I’m sure you both still communicate in your own personal way and send each other love across our separate realms ♥

    One time a psychic who sees spirit guides told me that he clearly sees an elderly woman with short grey hair standing behind my right shoulder, and she is always there… I startled, because that was the description of my grandma who passed away three years ago and who was most attached to me in her life and especially her last months. And after she died, I always knew she is still somehow with me and protects me – and what a psychic saw gave me a great confirmation of it to be truth!

    Hug you tightly ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I firmly believe every word you said. Truth be told, I don’t believe in coincidence. I think everything happens for a reason.
      I think my Dad is the one that watches over me. Although, I still feel my mother every once in a while.
      *hugs*
      (I see signs too, Sofia – we’re a lot alike in that way)

      Like

    1. That means a lot, Rita. 🙂 It is tough, but somehow we push on. Sometimes I get sad because she never got to meet my son.
      On the bright side, though…now he has one more guardian angel watching over him. 😀

      Like

  2. Big hugs from here, too xx
    It is hard to write about people we’ve lost, but one day you might find the words are just there, waiting for you to put them on paper.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Isn’t it something how things like that stay with us? They say there’s something about the human brain that holds onto smell stronger than any other form of memory.
      Interesting, huh?
      *hugs* Thanks for stopping by, dear.

      Like

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