When to Shut Up: Comment Responses

Many of my readers new and old may not know I respond to my comments via mobile device. I do this with the sensational WordPress app. For those chat iconof you that may’ve thought, “How in the world does she respond so quickly?” that’s how. I’m a person that carries their iPhone everywhere. Since I have the type of profession that requires me to check e-mails often, I really do need to have access to my phone most of the time.

Recently, I was reminded why I have a rule about sharing my personal views in both my writing, and my blogging. Controversy ends up repelling the type of readers I am trying to draw in. If a reader does not know on which side of the fence I stand on many issues, they cannot form an unfair and bias opinion of me. My rule is somewhat like the “no religion, no politics” unspoken mantra of many organizations. Most of the loving people that follow me have come to respect this rule and enjoy my work all the more because of it.

Reading and leaving comments are a large part of what makes this community breathe and function. Sadly, I’m starting to feel the need to adopt the above said rule in those cases too. My reason is simple, I find arguing over the internet absolutely pointless. Some people just love to do this, and they’ll leap at the first chance to disagree and screech all over you for it. Disagreements are fine, we’re all human, and that is part of life. Sometimes people can be downright rude, though, and I’m a hypersensitive individual. Often, if a remark is thrown at me in a condescending manner, I’ll become hurt by it. This may sound pathetic, but it’s just how I am.

em·path noun
An individual that possesses the psychic ability to sense or feel other’s emotions with great intensity.

To contradict myself, (as I find it to be a fun way to see if you’re paying attention), I find the way I am to be a gift. It is probably the chief reason I am a writer and an artist in the first place. My head is chock full of emotions. The trick is balancing them out; knowing how and when to turn them off.

Has someone ever hurt your feelings online? Be honest. We’re all friends here.

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24 thoughts on “When to Shut Up: Comment Responses

  1. I can understand your reasoning quite well and agree with your thoughts on controversy and bickering. I end up feeling quite uncomfortable as a result. Even my family believes I “take things too personally”. It really seems to be difficult not to when one is an empath. At least such is my experience.

    Glad to come across your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We don’t take things too personally – I think we just see the truth clearer. & The truth…well, it hurts. 😉

      [All the underlying hate/jealousy that others put out & shrug off..well we feel that 10-fold.]

      Glad you found me, Dawna. Welcome, welcome. 😀

      Like

  2. I’m sorry people have to be so nasty you have such a wonderful blog and beautiful art work. My husband also says “why can’t we all just get along” and I must admit he is right, can you just imagine how wonderful the world would be if we all did get along. You have a great blog site, keep posting and don’t look at those nasty comments.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are such a sweetheart, Rita. I wish I could just reach out and give you a giant hug. 🙂
      I often repeat that saying myself. What a wonderful world it would be if we could all just get along and be kind to one another. One can only hope…

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  3. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this and feel like this, dear daydreams. I admit to avoiding conflict, and I avoid commenting on posts about politics or religion. The biggest reason is because of my books. I don’t want to offend any readers or potential readers with something I might click like on or comment on. Even when I’m reading a favorite blogger’s posts, I always read through to the end before clicking like. I’m a pretty PG girl, and so are my books, so I try to keep my blogging and comments in that realm as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You mean a troll in the WP? Well, I wrote about her and warned people about Intruder Alert. I kept this post in EOE etc page. Trolls are not welcome. Not hurt personally, but when other’s are attacked, there go I.

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  5. Oh yes! Since I started blogging, there’s been two people who write me long emails about all the stuff they hate about me and my blog. It’s depressing every time, even though I tell myself to shake it off because it doesn’t matter. I don’t even really write about politics/religion in any notable way, so sometimes those disagreements just can’t be avoided no matter what you do.

    I try to just balance it out. Someone says something hurtful, so I seek out something awesome someone has said.

    *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ugh! What jerks! That’s borderline harassment! I can’t imagine why any one would not like dear Rara. You’re such a bottle of sunshine. 😀 Some people really are miserable. Like Kozo said, they’re just passing on their own insecurities.

      Seeking out awesomeness is going to be my new motto for the weekend. I’m stealing it with love.
      *big hugs*

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  6. My rule is also “no religion, no politics” but I will also add “guns” to that. .I’ve only had one incident on someone else’s blog when I commented. It wasn’t the person who wrote the blog who commented it was another blogger commenting on my comment who was really rude. The post was about guns and I broke one of my golden rules commenting only to be shouted down by a gun enthusiast (oh dear!). I like to think we can have rational conversations on this medium but when it comes to people’s passions (strike passion and overwrite it with fundamentalist ideas) I try and avoid them like the plague. Yes – it hurt my feelings being called an idiot, and it hurt my feelings that the person who managed the blog didn’t moderate the vitriolic attack on me – but then we’re getting into censorship and I don’t really want to comment on that either!

    Great post! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This was an interesting post. – I’ve been misinterpreted & disagreed with but by readers who were still considerate about the way they approached it which I appreciated. That allows for a conversation. – I do write about spirituality/ metaphysics (only occasionally touching on religion/ politics) but since spirituality is what my blog’s primarily about, most of my visitors are from the spiritual “realm” of the blogosphere (along with artists, photogs, authors) so I wouldn’t expect someone not interested in spiritual topics to visit my blog in the first place, much less, leave rude comments. That being said, and human nature being what it is, I imagine it’s just a matter of time, especially since I’ve written about a few controversial topics. – I’ve also learned the hard way not to leave comments in response to people that I’m not familiar with (that I read on other blogs) without checking out out their own blog first. Doing that can be very revealing and makes me realize when an attempt to have a calm, polite conversation wouldn’t be possible because of extremely opinionated views (on either side of an issue). – I was also very sensitive as a child, even as a young adult, but I’ve since come to believe that people’s reactions and comments are a reflection of themselves, and at times, a reflection of their own (either/ or) insecurities, hatred, low self esteem, etc. because those are the eyes through which they’re seeing and experiencing the world. And also because I’ve come to learn that when I feel secure and at peace within myself, I’m not affected by anything anyone else writes (or says to me). It took me many years to get to that point, and I still have moments when it’s not easy. LOL. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I admire your insight & wisdom. This actually occurred on someone else’s blog I recently followed & the mildly rude response was left not by the writer, but by another reader.

      Before I left the comment – I actually contemplated keeping my big mouth shut because it was a controversial topic. Something in me just pushed me to leave it anyway, though. (I often fight with myself. I’m not crazy, I promise.) Sometimes I wish WordPress would give us the option to delete our comments left on other blogs, or at least edit them.

      Anyway, I’m blabbering on now. In closing, I just want to add that I hope I could find the “off” switch to my emotions more often, as you have. To not let what others say effect me would be an amazing thing. 😀

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      1. Thanks for your kind reply – and to Kozo 🙂 – I’m moved to respond to something you wrote in reference to an “off” switch for emotions. (‘m not wanting to sound preachy so I apologize if it comes across that way.) – Believe me, I do understand the desire to ‘block people out’ so to speak, but the peace I found actually came from doing the opposite. Not seeing other people as separate from me, separate from the oneness that I believe we are all a part of, in other words, not seeing an ‘enemy’ or a ‘mean’ person, just someone on their own path having their own learning experiences. Even if they don’t see things that way themselves. Looking at things that way first sounded to me like it’d be a difficult thing to do, but once I started moving in that direction, it got easier, and eventually, it was my original way of thinking that became difficult and not a ‘normal’ reaction. I realize that may sound crazy. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It doesn’t sound crazy & you don’t sound preachy at all. 😀
          I think I’m still years away from growth like that, but I am certainly open to change. Kozo actually has opened up my eyes quite a bit.
          When I first came here I was very different. Meeting everyone involved with B4Peace kind of helped me “let go” of a lot of old feelings, so to speak.
          I’ll be forever grateful to all of you for that. & Maybe, just maybe, someday I can make a full transformation to being 100% peaceful.

          Much like the “butterfly spirit” dear Sofia described. (That also inspired this post.
          😉

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    2. I totally agree with Rev. Dani. I would add that all attacks are a cry for help. I hate to say it, but I was often mean and harsh with my words, and it always stemmed from insecurity or inadequacy. I am trying to be more empathic. To be an empath, like you, DDiW, is truly a gift. Don’t let a few insecure flamers spoil your gift.
      Also, if you ever feel this way on my blog, please let me know so I can fix the problem ASAP. 🙂 {{{hugs}}}} Kozo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You guys are all sweethearts. & No Kozo, everyone has always showered me with kindness & love over at your place. I found some of my best blogging buddies over there, including you. (BBBs *chuckle*)
        I’ll be sure to let you know if any sour apples join the bunch, though. *hugs*

        Like

      2. I couldn’t find the reply button on Rev Dani’s comment, so I am commenting here (talking to myself as usual). I completely agree, Rev. Dani. I find so much power and growth in embracing my enemies. It reminds me of how the Dalai Lama is grateful for the mistreatment he has suffered at the hands of the Chinese. He is thankful for the Chinese pushing him to find a deeper compassion. Jesus said the same thing in Luke 6:27 “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” I’m thankful for those who have done me wrong because they have lead me to the path of love and compassion. {{{hugs]}} to you both. Kozo

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It should be in the upper right hand corner of the comment, Kozo. (I think) One of the things I dislike about this theme is the fact that it has gray links & they’re hard to see. 😦
          I’m procrastinating on changing my theme.
          Anyway, these are words of wisdom. Thank you for stopping by. 🙂 I’ll do my best to relay the message to Rev. Dani. ♥hugs♥

          Like

  8. I totally relate to this. I’m hypersensitive too, but would rather be that was than callous. I’ve been harassed on the internet a lot. I can tell you a lot of stories that are pretty depressing, but I think you nailed the concept in your post. Chin up! Just ignore them. I don’t know why people chose to be mean and argue like that. It’s just so silly that people can’t be open-minded enough to befriend others with different opinions. I follow blogs of different religious and political beliefs but it’s not important because we are all people with something of value to say. Hope this helps 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re such a sweetheart, Maryanne. I wasn’t as much hurt by it (although I often do get hurt in these situations) as I was shocked that someone was getting pissy with me over a difference in opinion.

      Like you, I follow blogs that have different views & beliefs from mine simply because I respect their gift as a writer.
      It sounds so naive of me but “can’t we all just get along?” 😛
      *hugs*

      Like

Dream on, dreamer

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