Grief Management

In Between

A large number of men and women have dealt with or known someone who has gone through some shape of grief in their lifetime. Grief and depression can affect a person’s life negatively and hinder many processes that lead to growth. In order for one to move forward in life, one needs to grow, right?

To those reading this that may be dealing with some portion of grief, take solace in knowing I’m going to offer you some help.

Before reading on, read this first:

The following are some tools I’ve learned over the years. Please do not replace these for medical advice; especially, if you are indeed in crisis. My only intention is to pass on some knowledge that may be of help when you are having a particularly difficult time dealing with grief.

  • Instead of putting such emphasis in your mind about the day a person died, remember their birthday instead. Celebrate their life instead of mourning their death. For women/couples that may have suffered a miscarriage, remember the day you found out you were pregnant rather than a time that brings you pain.
  • Go though the boxes. This one is tough, I have to admit, but you’ll feel better afterwards, trust me. To anyone that’s lost someone, you know what this means. I don’t have to explain it. Sometimes, it’ll do you some good to get rid of some of the things that aren’t important too. I know that is also difficult, however, one needs to realize that deep down, you know this person will not be upset with anyone for getting rid of the unimportant items. Part of moving through grief is letting go. Holding onto too many objects can become unhealthy (ask a therapist) and can develop into a condition known as hoarding, which is a serious mental illness.
  • Do something you enjoy, preferably outside. The outdoors are the best place you can be as you’re moving through the grieving process. Take a vacation, go out with a friend; take a walk. Anything to keep yourself from constantly dwelling on sadness.
  • Remember the things that bring you joy and participate in them. Go through the motions. Stay active. Listen to music, paint, dance, sing, go see a movie. Whatever brings you happiness, take part in it.
  • It’s okay to cry. Male or female, no matter how young or how old…it’s ok, just let it out. We were given tear ducts for a reason. You may just feel a little better afterwards.
  • Build a support system. This can be so important. Even if your support system is only one or a few people. It’s essential to have someone to vent your feelings to. This could be a close friend, family member, therapist, or all three. You shouldn’t be alone in times of grief. Isolation is a dangerous thing when you are going through a grieving period. Isolating one’s self could turn grief into depression.
  • Write your thoughts down. (Optional) This can be a form of therapy. Getting your thoughts out of you and onto paper is an excellent tool for releasing pent-up anxiety.
  • Make peace with yourself and with the departed. If there were any grudges held, arguments had, resentment, or just plain issues before this person’s death…make peace with it and let it go. Forgive them, forgive yourself. You can even write a letter of forgiveness.

The above mentioned tools are just some of many. These are just the highlights of what has helped me the most. As a person that has lost many, mourned severely, dwelled, and later sought healing, you could consider me somewhat of an expert on the subject. However, I remind you not to mistake my helpful tools for medical advice. Although, some have said I’d make a pretty excellent grief counselor…

This post is intended to be thought of in conjunction with my Stress Management post (hence, the similar wording and format.) Think of it as a part two of sorts.

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15 thoughts on “Grief Management

  1. What a wonderful, caring post. Between my husband and I, we’ve lost our grandparents, and three of our parents. There have been other times we’ve grieved that actually felt worse, and that was when our dogs passed. I’ve never quite understood that. I cried more when our dogs died than when my father died. I can only think it was because the dogs gave us such unconditional love, they relied entirely upon us, and they were such wonderful companions. We lost our two oldest dogs within three weeks of each other, and it was brutal. I cried for weeks, and to this day I cry when talking about them. Until then, I didn’t realize that there are different types of grief. Your suggestions are universal, and I wish I had read them two years ago.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really hope to pass this out to people. I think it’ll be a help that everyone needs. They’re tools that’ve helped me through the healing process…and man, oh man have I seen some loss. I understand that taking steps toward healing can be extremely difficult…especially in the beginning. Some of us may even feel like they don’t want to heal, or they’re not ready. I urge those same people to read on and then seek help. Therapy shouldn’t be viewed as something for “crazy people”.

      As one of my favorite characters in a book once said:
      “We’re all mad here.”
      😉

      Like

  2. It’s such a wonderful post, dear!
    Couple of years ago i went through a hard loss in my life, when my grandma died, and i had to read a lot of grief management info online to cope with that. Wish i read your tips back then!
    Btw i love to start my week with your blog 🙂 Have a great 7 days, Alice in wonderland! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. These are excellent tools to help manage the grieving process. It’s something most of us will go through at some time in our lives. It’s important to remember that some reactions are ‘normal’ and need to be lived through and dealt with (instead of masking them with alcohol or medication – as this only extends the process). I just thought I’d slip that in because a friend of mine is currently trying to deal with a death this way. I’m going to show him your post. Thank you so much…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a common mistake & many of us fall victim to that. I should’ve included that somewhere in the middle but I know this has got to be a difficult list for some to read. Some of it may bring up feelings of sadness just reading through it. It’s important we all deal with it in a healthy manner. Thank you so much for stopping by again, Dianne. I’m very, very glad this might be of some help to someone. 🙂

      Like

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